Good husband must have three mantras
Recently, an association called “National Caring Husband” in Japan launched the “Thank You”, “Sorry”, and “I Love You” campaigns, and formulated 10 levels of good husbands to motivate more husbands to express themselves boldly to their wives.Emotions.
Psychologist Dr. Zhuang Wenhao said that these three sentences are also the most difficult for Chinese couples to speak. The root cause lies in that marriage certificate.
He said that men have a common thinking, thinking that the marriage certificate represents all the love and thanks to their wife, so it is superfluous to say anything beside him.
Often it is this kind of psychology that prevents the various “toxins” when the couple get along, which can be accumulated in time and eventually irreparable.
Top 10 grades for good husbands in Japan. First grade: Wife who still loves her 3 years after marriage. Second grade: Can help with housework. Third grade: Never cheated his wife or never found himself lying.谎言 第四等级：能做到“女士优先”第五等级：能和妻子手拉手散步第六等级：能认真听妻子说话第七等级：能在一个晚上解决妻子和母亲之间的问题第八等级: Can not hesitate instead of “thank you” Ninth grade: Don’t be afraid to say “I’m sorry” Tenth grade: Being able to show “I love you” without being shy “Thank you” is not a common scene in the family:When the guest comes, the wife re-cups the tea for the guest and the husband respectively. The guest will be politely called “thank you”, but the husband often accepts it with good reason without any expression.
The man’s explanation this time is: where is the old man’s wife and wife so much red tape?
In fact, this is a man’s excuse.
The marriage certificate represents everything in their hearts, the words of gratitude are included in the certificate, and it is redundant, and saying “thank you” shows that the wife is treated with the same respect as an outsider.
Dr. Zhuang Wenhao believes that men and women are people on two planets. They have their own languages. In men’s languages, they mainly solve problems and achieve important goals, such as achievement, career, and money. In women’s languages,It is to vent your inner emotions by speaking, especially about household chores and work in life.
As long as a man spends a little time learning a woman’s language, he can satisfy his wife.
Experts suggest: The more trivial you are, the more you should say “thank you”, and instead of saying major events.
In the family, there is nothing taken for granted between husbands and wives, including having children, and it is not something women should take for granted.
Therefore, when any party volunteers to do a small thing for you, it is important to say “thank you”, so hand a pair of slippers, a towel, and a cup of tea.
A sincere “thank you” does not increase the sense of distance between husband and wife, but a feeling of “gratefulness”.
”Sorry” does not mean that the faceless men have strong self-esteem and dignity, and they must also maintain their dignity in the family, so they are unwilling to say “Sorry.”
In fact, “I’m sorry” is not to admit mistakes, not necessarily to lose face, it has nothing to do with right or wrong, but just a tolerant mentality.
Dr. Zhuang said that we can be tolerant to a stranger and friend, but often very harsh on our favorite person, because the requirements for our lover are perfect, and we will care about their mistakes.
Experts suggest that there is no “full responsibility” problem in the conflict in marriage and family.
Both sides should apologize if there is a quarrel, but whoever said it first.
Men first say “I’m sorry” is a brave performance. In fact, these three words are not confession, and even regret the result of quarrels.
For a moment, let me say “I’m sorry”, but you can win more things for you. The smiles of some wives, the harmony of the family, and the happy mood are definitely “buying and selling”.
It is not a patent for love. When a man is in love, he will occasionally say “I love you” in order to pursue a lover. Once he gets married and gets the paper marriage certificate, “I love you” is like being beaten into a cold palace, and it is difficult to hear again.
Many men are too reliant on that paper certificate, thinking that with a marriage certificate, they have the sword of love, and all love has been proven.
Dr. Zhuang Wenhao said that after marriage, whenever a woman asks her husband whether you love me or not, men are always impatient and troubled, “Why don’t I marry you if I don’t love you?
“The marriage certificate in the heart of a man represents” I love you “.
Once there was a couple who came for psychological counseling. After the consultation, when the wife heard her husband’s sincere sentence “I love you”, she was moved to tears.
Expert advice: Simple three words have so much charm that makes women cry.
So a married man does not prevent a lot of practice to say “I love you” to his wife and make his wife realize your love.